How I woke up this morning

I went out for a night on the town with Kate last night that truly qualifies as legendary. We did an "around the world" tour in downtown town San Jose that started at Teskes Germania where we sat in the beer garden watching a polka band and drinking Jagertee which is a German cordial that's delicious. We left Germany and went to England right next door at Trial's Pub where Kate read Trivial Pursuit cards to me and I amazed her with my awesome intelligence. She later punished me for no good reason by suggesting I drop my Jameson into my Belgian Ale and drink it all down because we "couldn't let it go to waste". We also made two new friends who we impressed with our knowledge of furries and humanzees before leaving the pub and making our way to Club Lido a half Vietnamese club, half Mexican banda club. I still can't decide which half of the club was more strange. Upstairs is the Vietnamese neon bright, yet somehow still dark dance hall where a group of tiny, but intimidating women guarded the top of the stairs and said, "what you doing here?" while blocking our way. I told her we were there to enjoy the awesome music and we squeezed past her to sit down in one of the long banks of red plastic booths. We watched for awhile before finally the catchy music got to us and we danced for a song or two before heading down the stairs to Mexico where we did tequila shots (even though I swore NO TEQUILA earlier in the day) and danced salsa until I was ready to burst into flames from the lingering horny stares from the gentlemen at the club. I peeled my 5ft tall dance partner who, I'm pretty sure came to the club without his underwear, off my thigh and we raced further down the block for more international fun. We wrapped up the night at two gay clubs and at the last one, Splash!, we danced our asses off and I'm sure all the calories from the liquor and fish and chips were instantly burned off from my energetic dance onstage. This morning I woke up feeling dehydrated, and my feet feel like two chewed up ham sandwiches, but I'm happy and ready to shuffle my way slowly downtown in search of my car (we made Bryce pick us up at 3am - thanks Bryce!)